Expressing one’s feelings is normally looked at as being inappropriate, rude, or even humiliating because you are too scared to show them. If you grew up in a family that never said how they felt, then it’s very likely that you don’t know how to express how you feel now as an adult. It almost feels alien to express our feelings, so now we have to go through a process of ‘unlearning’ what we were taught by our guardians/parents. It may sound like a daunting prospect but I assure you that with practice it can become human nature again. Not expressing our feelings can cause all sorts of problems in our bodies.

By Anette Martinsen

If we do not express our feelings they can get trapped in our bodies and they can cause illness or even disease. If you go through life without saying how you feel then your body becomes like a ‘bottle’ ready to explode. The feelings can then produce a metaphysical state in your body. Take for example a person who suffers from recurrent sore throats; he or she would probably have problems expressing themselves, as it has affected the place where words come from. Headaches are more than likely the symptom of somebody who criticises him/herself a great deal, which in time then makes them feel unworthy. If a person experienced their guardian or parent telling them they were stupid, they would grow up thinking that they were stupid, and that they were not good enough and this would develop into very low self-esteem.

This is primarily because the brain is divided into two parts - the conscious and the subconscious. Unfortunately the two parts do not work together very well! Therefore, when you have a feeling and you express it, it is then ‘released’ from your body. If you do not release it, it will be stored in the subconscious part of your brain where it will start to cause problems in your body and mind.

Your subconscious then starts to record all the same experiences with the feelings associated with it, therefore every time a similar experience happens and the feelings are not expressed, a pattern is then formed in your brain. Every time you have the same type of feeling it is ’filed’ in the same subconscious section of the brain. You could compare our brains to a computer - it stores up things, both negative and positive, and like a computer you need to take it to the shop to erase viruses from the hard drive!

There is a relatively new therapy called Rapid Eye Movement Therapy, which is based upon Caring Rapid Healing (C.R.H.), which was devised by Ken Keyes Junior and based on E.M.D.R. therapy (Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing). It can help people deal with painful memories, traumas, weight problems, grief, phobias, addictions, disease, abuse, accidents, anger, divorce, self-esteem as well as many other problems.

How does it work?
Rapid Eye Movement Therapy works in a similar way to the effects that occur during REM (Rapid Eye Movement) sleep. Whilst you are sleeping, REM’s help your mind clear painful memories. This can be done while you are fully awake and conscious.

The therapist will go through your problems and all the feelings that are associated with it. When you are ready, you then have to visualise the experience again with the feelings whilst you are doing this. The therapist will activate the Rapid Eye Movement with a wand or stick. You watch the wand move from side to side or in a figure of eight, this is known as ‘tracking’. Each section of the tracking lasts for about 40 - 60 seconds, during which time your mind just floats away thinking about the problem in question.

The mind does not go into a hypnotic state and research shows this technique actually increases your brain activity. Each session can dissolve not only one negative memory, but also ten other memories associated with the first problem, so it is truly a quick and effective method of healing your mind, and everybody can benefit from healing their mind.

Depending on the problem it can take anything from just one simple session, to several sessions for a deep-rooted problem. Rapid Eye Movement Therapy will heal the mind. The overall aim is not to erase the entire memory of the event, but only to release the negative thoughts and emotions attached to it.

SELF HELP
Visualise the problem, event or experience in your mind. Close your eyes, and try to feel all the feelings that you had at the time and express them either out loud or say them in your mind. If there is a lot of anger then try to visualise the person that you are angry with and scream and shout at them. If you can hit a pillow as well, then this can help too!! It is important to express all the feelings. Keep doing the visualisation until the feelings no longer upset you.