The Fundamental Things In Life By Anette Martinsen We all have patterns in our lives We need to take a closer look at our lives and the patterns that we create. Do people ‘make’ you feel not good enough, angry, guilty, annoyed, unloved, left out etc? Those people that do that are just facilitators or as I call them ‘button pushers’. They are there to show you the areas in you life that need looking at. We cannot blame anybody for the way we feel, as they are OUR feelings and nobody can make you feel anything - they just push your buttons. These buttons have been programmed and even pre-programmed to go off all the time, but sadly we do not wake up and do something about it. Sometimes we never look at why we feel the way we do or where it comes from.

As tiny babies we love ourselves and our bodies completely and then slowly over the years our worthiness gets chipped at. When we start looking closely at our patterns we can notice that we always seem to feel the same no matter what the incident, episode or conversation is. The bottom line is always the same…we feel not good enough.

Pattern
Weight problems
Mrs X is overweight, unhappy and feels not good enough about herself or the way she looks. She is trapped in a pattern where the people around her will tell her that that dress makes her look fat or say something about the amount of food that she is eating or subtly say that she is not good enough. She does not express her feelings at all and would feel so belittled and worthless that she would stuff her feelings by going straight for the biscuit cupboard or a packet of sweets. After she ate the biscuits or sweets she would tell herself off and would make herself feel guilty and not good enough. She was caught in a vicious circle and this pattern kept going round and round but with a special eating plan, food testing and some Rapid Eye Movement (REM) Therapy the problem disappeared and to date she has lost 6kg and feels happy and good enough.

Diets don’t work - The secret to weight loss is happiness – when you release your emotions you will become a happy person, then the weight will take care of it self.
Diets will only solve the problem temporarily, so as soon as you stop the diet the weight will come back on. It is a sign, why does the weight come back on – because you are unhappy and feel not good enough.

Pattern
Do you kids make you angry?
Mrs Z could not get her children to listen to her when she was trying to help them with their homework instead they wanted to play or just mess around. The homework should have taken half an hour but took 3 hours and she got frustrated and very angry and instead of expressing how she felt, she shouted at them making the whole situation much worse. Had she expressed her feelings when they happened the episode would have been calm. All she needed to say was I feel angry, I feel frustrated and I feel not good enough. With REM Therapy we successfully erased all the negative patterns and all the negative feelings that she had and now feels good about herself and feels worthy as a mother and as a person. Now when her children are acting up and not listening to her she says how she feels out loud or in her mind and then the need for shouting has gone and she feels calm.

Pattern
Mrs S was feeling fat, ugly, not good enough and unhappy and wanted some excitement in her life. She went out on the town with some friends from work and met a man that paid her some compliments and was interested in her and thought she was sexy and beautiful. Her husband had not told her that she was looking sexy or beautiful in a while so she considered having an affair with this man, but decided that she needed to look at what she was feeling and why. The bells were ringing in her head warning her that she needed to go and do something about it. The attention made her feel desirable only temporarily and it would be just running away from the problem. She realised that it was only because she was feeling not good enough that she was looking around for attention. She managed to save her marriage and after one session was feeling good about her self again.

Sexual abuse
Ms A was sexually abused as a child by 3 separate people and suffered all of her life feeling not good enough, ugly and unlovable. She was not very keen on having sex and found her self in many relationships with other men feeling not good enough. With REM Therapy we went through the experiences again and looked at how she felt and cleared the negative feelings and cleared the pattern that she had trapped herself in. She is now feels good about herself and is happily married with 3 children.

Fears phobia and panic attacks
Mr Y was experiencing panic attacks because he was scared to drive his car, even the thought of driving to another town would scare him and would cause him to have a panic attack. He felt nervous, scared, frightened, anxious and not good enough, but did not express himself instead he swallowed the feelings and this caused him to have a panic attack. He learnt that he needed to say how he felt by saying ‘I feel nervous, scared’ etc. He did not experience another panic attack.

‘‘Physician, heal thyself’’
‘’Healer heal thyself’’, this is a very old proverb taken from the bible. Old but true.
I strongly believe that a clear therapist/healer can truly help others because they have helped themselves first. To evolve to the next level we forget about the fundamental things – feelings. Once you feel you are on the spiritual path then isn’t it worth clearing away all the debris?
Mrs W was not asked to speak at a seminar recently and all of her other friends had been asked. Mrs W felt left out and wondered why she felt bad. When we looked deeper we found that she felt not good enough, jealous and after we went through he incident and release all the negative feelings she felt good about her self.

Pattern
Addictions
Smoking, alcohol, drugs and food are all addictions and they are only in our lives because of the way we feel. To give up an addiction successfully we must first look at the feelings we have then clear the pattern and the negative feelings behind why we drink or smoke etc. When we are feeling unhappy, not good enough or angry we tend to reach for a cigarette or a drink and the same can be said for drugs and food. Addictions tend to come from deep-rooted unexpressed feelings from childhood.
We can probably all give up smoking/drinking for a while but when we start again that is a good sign that there is an emotional reason why you smoke or drink which needs to be addressed.

This is our wake up call
It is time to take responsibility for our lives
We have to own up to our own feelings, we cannot blame others for how we feel, ‘You make me feel angry’, ‘You make me feel unhappy’ does not work, as they are our feelings, and saying that only makes that person feel guilty and angry etc. Stop blaming everyone else for how you feel and take responsibility for your feelings.
The feelings we have need to be expressed all the time, otherwise they build up in our subconscious mind and will get trapped in our bodies. Unexpressed feelings will cause all sorts of problems in our bodies like ulcers, migraines, weight gain, and disease. Trapped feelings in the subconscious can cause fears, phobias, depression lack of self-esteem and more.